Your education, perspective of the world around you, and how you respond to a conflict are just some of the things that no one can take away from you. These nonmaterialistic things that are acquired mentally are the things that won’t leave you or be taken from you because they become root deep; embedded. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is YOUR OWN LOVE, effort, and to simply show up for yourself.
However, many people are unable to give themselves the love they deserve, mainly because they haven’t painted a mental picture of what that looks like to them specifically, and it is simply this:
YOU must be able to offer yourself what others cannot.
- Make a conscious effort to plan your life accordingly, and work relentlessly towards what you want:
What does the best version of you look like? What does a successful day look like for you? What do you find yourself gravitating towards (be selective)? In what ways can you begin to work towards your bigger goals? What are those goals? What will you commit to every day in order to achieve that vision? How will you keep this vision in the forefront of your mind and everything you do? What sacrifices will you make in order to break boundaries? What’s holding you back from you? Are you seizing all self-sabotaging murmurs with an encouraging thought? Are you building your mind daily, and creating a safe place for your own thoughts and creativity to thrive?
Then once these are concrete in your mind, go get to work. Go plan your vision, create a vision board, get connected to people who can help you, THINK ABOUT THAT ‘THING’ EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT, pray about it, ask God where he will open a door, ask God if that’s the right path for you, ask God if that’s the right person for you (trust me, he won’t answer the way you expect him to answer, but you’ll be given what you ask), Meditate, and PLAN, PLAN, PLAN.
2. Celebrate your smallest victories !! Huge victories are made up of the smallest, yet significant decisions and actions.
Celebrate that you woke up at 9 am instead of 1:30 pm in the afternoon one day, celebrate the fact that you’re working towards your goals, celebrate that you’re JUST starting to think about your goals, celebrate that you ate a healthy breakfast this morning, celebrate your singleness, celebrate the fact that you’re not where you need to be but thank GOD you’re not where you used to be, celebrate your makeup that you beat so well and blended for the gods, or the fact that you blocked that exact thing that could have blocked your blessing, or that you worked out for 15 minutes one day, or an hour and a half the other, celebrate the fact that you’re exactly where you need to be in life at this very moment, or the fact that you just read that book, or…. okay I think you get it now. CELEBRATE EVERYTHING. Cheer yourself on, be your biggest cheerleader, be your own hype man/ hype woman. DO NOT BE STOPPED, don’t let anything kill your stride.
3. KNOW YOURSELF from the inside out
Take lots of time for yourself (granted you don’t have a kid or a husband or boyfriend, or girlfriend) but regardless, “you time” is the most essential. Let your mind roam and see where you take yourself, go on a journey to reinvent yourself, do something that you would never do or even consider doing, create the most grounded relationship as possible with yourself. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses like the back of your hand (which is a never-ending job, and frankly no one really ever fully knows themselves, but every step is surely one step closer to a more refined you). Do what you can for yourself, and believe that you’re able to go the distance, land that new job, learn that new skill, cut that negative person out of your life, journal more often, commit to positive thinking, and stress less about the things you know you can’t control.
Do all that you can do for yourself and God will figure out the rest. Realistically, some people or ALL, in fact, may find this to be a daunting task: to “let go, and let God” but we must understand that we have to help God help us. If we didn’t, the concept of trust, faith, or work will no longer be a factor, and we would live our lives unappreciative and spoiled rotten when in reality God doesn’t need to bless anything he’s not a part of. If we would simply change our perspective and our habits of doing things, God will do so in turn. Sometimes it’s you that is in the way of your own life, and sometimes you’re the one hindering your own growth and success. If you keep looking at how you’re not qualified, or how you’re not worthy enough, or how that thought that keeps reoccurring in your head is just impossible, or how you’ll forever be alone, or how you’re never going to progress, you’ll never be ready to do what God wants you to do.
It won’t be easy, but it’s as simple as SHOWING UP.