Advice to my 15 year old self

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  • Your body or image is not all you have to offer in the world, you’re much more valuable than your overly adorned curves and curls. You’re more than the body you are renting for this life time, so don’t obsess about it like the media or lame boys do. Don’t form an artificial confidence based on your looks alone, that won’t be enough to sustain you.
  • Listen to your gut instinct the first time around, this will salvage a lot of your time and energy for events to come.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others.. you are you’re own unique being with thoughts and experiences that are one of a kind, that are valid and just as important as everyone else’s contribution/purpose in this lifetime.
  • I know school is not that important to you right now, but you need to take more initiative prioritizing this aspect in your life because your education is your gateway to many opportunities and is the threshold for the rest of your future. Being academically motivated will open your eyes to things and ideas you never knew you were on fire for to begin with and you’ll ultimately learn more about yourself by learning new things and expanding your horizons.
  • Don’t try and find your identity in anyone but God who created you, he knows who you are more than you know yourself right now or forever, if you ask him he’ll be more than glad to give you insight and direction.
  • Don’t hold relationships with significant others your top priority because just like you, he is learning to become a better him and he’s most likely only there for a season in your life, to teach you something about yourself, not to stick around for a lifetime. #BoyBye
  • Don’t be afraid to speak up, your opinions and thoughts are valid and should be heard. You’re smarter than you think.
  • Challenge yourself: physically, mentally, spiritually, and wrestle with yourself with your very existence so that you have some time to figure yourself out so that when you get older,the transition won’t be so abrupt.
  • Pleasing everybody does no good for you. Establish your “Yes’s” and “No’s,” you don’t always have to agree to everything that comes your way. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.
  • Your body is sacred
  • You don’t owe a boy anything, not even if he asks for it.
  • Your seasons of friends will continually be shifting throughout your life, be adaptive to change and know that people leave your life for a reason.
  • Don’t be the pursuer, you’re the prize to be chosen, not the chooser.
  • Life goes by pretty fast, get in the habit of writing down your goals and practice for aiming for a certain goal no matter what those goals are and be consistent in your goal practices.
  • Be courageous, be spontaneous, or you’ll regret it later.
  • Know that not every guy that comes into your life is meant to stay and you’re not obliged to entertain them all either.
  • You already know what your passion is, so go forth, be confident in it and work for it like you were born to do nothing else.
  • A heartbreak is not the end of your life, it’s only the beginning…

Just For You.

seachellewrites

I’ve got a special love thats just for you.
I’ve had it since the day i met you.
we were only 10, just kids then,
yet somehow i knew you were different.
When we became teens,
I began having dreams
that one day you would see me and say
“Michelle you look beautiful today,
I can’t believe I let all this time slip away,
but no worries I’m here to stay.”
I never doubted you,
not even with the passing of time.
I knew that one day I’d come to mind
and you’d wonder just how different things could have been.

We’re 21 now, and I think we’re there.
especially after all the things you’ve shared.
I know you care for me,
thats not hard to see.
Things just aren’t how they should be.
You’re one of my best friends
so I just want you to be happy.
I need…

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Assemble your mind to able your life,

I still hear his voice in my head when I wear my favorite pair of workout leggings “Oh, you just want people to look at your ass, you’re so obsessed with how you look all the time!” Or when I look at a cute guy, I can still hear him getting extremely sensitive and offensive and ready to breakup with me. But here’s the thing, it’s over and its been over for several months now (thank you God) so why do I still hear this judgmental, insecure, prideful, obscene voice in my head…. I don’t know and that’s been the challenge for these past couple months is how not listen to that overly criticizing maniac of a inhumane who is now part of my conscious. It’s hard because it’s almost like this voice inside my head has it’s say on things even before I come up with an answer myself and it’s this never ending battle between my conscious and subconscious.

My problem now is that after all this time, I’m still enemies with that voice, and because I’m struggling to make peace with this voice it overrules majority of my self-reflected thoughts. If you thought being your own critic was bad, try having prerecorded and heavily anticipated judgmental slurs in someone else’s voice readily disposed, ready to attack you at any given moment. My mind has put up a great fight and continues to fight for it’s overall peace and happiness on a daily basis. In order to re-frame my mentality I’ve been implementing “positive thinking” strategies to really sculpt my self thoughts into a kind of thinking that I’m not use to, a kind of thinking that I don’t think I deserve. Positive thinking is what I like to refer to now as “healing thinking,” since this voice is only in my head I have the power to evict these negative thoughts out of my head and invoke thoughts that are supernatural to combat the ones already there.

You too, have the ability to transform your thinking and guard your thoughts, you have the overall dominion over how you think of yourself and how you want to shift your general day to day thinking. Don’t let the negative noise of others tamper your potential to become the greatest you, make you fearful of doing things that make you, YOU or prohibit you in any way to not pursue yourself in a greater light, because you’re in charge. If I didn’t have the negative noise of a particular person make such a negative imprint on my self perception I wouldn’t try so hard to defy my own odds, or fight for myself like I do now. Even though some things may just seem to unbearable, too overwhelming, too impossible to overcome, you have to build your inner fight and know that it is vital for you to fall so that you can be lifted up again and realize that where you were standing before doesn’t even come close to the altitude that you’ll be standing in victory after your deepest self battles. Your lowest self-defeats will be your highest self-victories. Continue to fight, to press on, to wear your favorite workout leggings, wear whatever makes you feel good squash the devil’s head back into the ground every morning when you wake up before you go out and conquer the rest of the world.