There could be so many destructive things that could have potentially manifested themselves way past my capacity of control that could hypothetically speaking still have its hold on my life today and interfere with the season that I’m at in my life right now.
I could have been in an abusive relationship right now as we speak and I could have completely lost all my sense of fight..
I could have even gotten pregnant and got forced to mother a child when I’m still learning to take care of myself..
I could have depleted all of my standards and expectations and ruined my life with a complete waste of existence of a human being..
I could be arguing over the same exact endless things about me ‘being a problem’ and end up believing that to be true..
I could be wasting all of my love on someone who would take every single ounce of me for granted..
BUT thankfully I’m not
and it feels damn good to say that..
Never feel obligated to or be content in oppression because before you’re anyone’s, you are your selves and no one deserves you if they don’t treat you better than you would treat yourself. Why add that complication to your life, you’re seriously better off. Who cares about a cute face and charming words, care about your inner and outer appearance and over all well being.
I’m fully embracing singleness as much as I can and glad reclaiming myself once and for all and to also building myself without being criticized or ridiculed for doing the right things for myself. Thankfully, my will power and inner defense mechanisms have shaped within me so interwoven that they themselves are stronger than every adversary. I’m happy to say that my life is so much better when I’m the only one living it.. and until someone else wants to go through intense trial and error to change that, I’ll remind myself daily that I’m much better off. Never have I ever utilized so much bad to produce so much good, it’s still a mystery to how I’ve converted the worst experience in my life to one that is a huge stepping stone into the next level of myself but, God be the glory.